I'm in a much better mood naooooooo.

So I want to get work on my new deviantart account (like creating the name and going ahead and making a few pictures for it...and mebbe a mascot??)

Also, I'm going to channel some innerkawaii, because I'm having a serious moment of cute-obsession.

Oh crap, I should be working on some stuff for PanRPG...*shrug*

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy....totally pumped that track is off for the rest of the week! And we apparently get Friday off because Jesus died on the cross or something? I dunno, I sort of gave up on understanding Christianity when I was little.

Speaking of which (but not really), Coach Roberts is the total boss of piano! He played all second skinny, and totally inspired me on a very deep level. He doesn't really read music, he just comes up with stuff and lemme tell you that is some of the best shit! I am going to demand that he records me a tape or something...because I have to hear more!! MOAR I SAY!!!

Lalalala, going to go draw something hella cute and fuck around with my lappytop background.

BTW, (mostly aimed to Ayaalubber), should I rejoin Gaia? I've joined like a million times...but now I can actually do commissions and get some money to make myself cute!! It sounds funnnnn! I'm thinking about starting a new account and then transferring all my gold and stuff from the other one to it. That might workkkkk. :9

Umm, continuing the string of emo journals.

Death is the scariest shit ever. It might be because my life has been touched with very few (and those few being non-remembered) deaths.

I literally took all night to look at my aunt. And then when I did finally look at her, I felt bad because I had to tell myself that it wasn't actually her, but rather one of those wax statures like at Madame whatever's.

And now my whole family is talking about how deaths in our family always happen in sets of five or six and then stop for a few years. So, automatically all my great-aunts and uncles (and my grandma) are now worrying about dying. And I worry about my granny all the time naturally just because she's the second most important person in my life and entering an age where anything is possible in terms of life and death.

I fell asleep for just a second at the visitation and had a really odd image come into my head and wake me up, but I might draw it out instead of trying to explain it.

So why do I keep doing it?

Pulled a muscle in my left leg Saturday while having a snowball fight.

And then totally fucked up the right leg today at track. It's quite possibly the worst pain I've ever had during track. I can barely walk without wincing.

Also, I'll probably be going to a new account once I get my shit together and actually get some decent art ready? I'll still post stuff on here, but I don't feel like dealing with my shitty gallery anymore than usual. I'd like to be able to post some cute/decent stuff without leaning on all my pals who would tell me it looked nice no matter if it looked like total shit.

I'm not gonna be revealing the name either. Sorry. Personal thing.

In other news, Clamp is officially my hero. I have reverted to my days of CCS and have discovered Tsubasa. Being the sap for romance that I am, I couldn't help but love those two.

Damn.

Shit is piling up on me.

Still got to write (and illustrate) the damned short story. Not so worried though.

Although that class is slowly making me hate art for various reasons. Most of which involving the ass-off effort I've been putting into it and the not-so-pleasing results I've been getting.

Also, I have a debate tomorrow.

Chances are, I'm going to either laugh my way through it or get so pissed I can't see straight.

Dammit, sometimes I wish I wasn't so hard on myself for every little fucking thing.

We're doing cuts this year in Track. I'll probably get cut. In a little way, I hope I do. I don't hate Track, I just hate most of the people and I hate the fact that I'm a.) too lazy to keep in shape all off-season and b.) too lazy to actually try and make myself do so.

Also, there are things I want to say to people, but my last remnant of kindness (or maybe self-preservation from entering the city limits of Bitchville) is preventing me from doing so. Once again, I just get the fatty shaft of the situation.

I'm fucking tired of getting stepped on.

I just want to draw little fantasy people that do fantasy things all their fucking lives so I don't have to do anything with mine. Living vicariously through non existant people, ya know.

I'm so close to either getting a new account or going to a different site. Looking at my gallery makes me want to go eat some rat poison or choke on a bottlecap or do something epic to epically end this epic failure that I wish was talent.

I think I should pick up a new hobby besides art. Maybe crocheting??? Nahhh, I'd just stab people in the face with those little needle things.

1. Must stop being shitpile of shitty shit.
2. Must stop hating people just for being dipshits--must find inner peace or some other various thing that makes them bearable.
3. Must stop being complete and total fucktard.
4. Must stop being mean and critical.
5. Must stop blogging all my emotions to people who probably don't give two hoots of a damn.

Fuck, where to begin...

((BTW I'm not suicidal, so don't lecture me on that dumb shit that emo kids and fucktards do.))

Weeeeeeellllll, I have story for all of you who read my journal (which is probably two people, both of whom came from the same womb anyway...so in theory they could've been one person...a very bipolar person....but w/e....e__e;;; )

As you might know, my aunt was seriously injured in the set of tornadoes that struck Tennessee. She's doing so much better, and she's awake and talking now. So, after they buy her some stuff to take to the physical therapy center she's heading to, my mom and grandma head off to Nashville to see her. It's like 7 in the morning, so I was asleep and at home alone.

Come lunchtime, I get a hankering for some soup. I do the usual soup routine, you know, open the can, pour out the soup, get the cup of water, etc. etc. Then I turn on the burner to high. And after about three minutes, when the soup should be done, the soup isn't even cooking. And because I am not very patient, I decide to run around the house for a second to burn off some energy.

When I return, the soup is still not cooking. Unfortunately, the burner cover behind the burner where the soup was supposed to cook is. In fact, there is a cloud of black deathsmoke rising from the burner cover and a small flame.

And you can probably guess what I did: yelled 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT' and looked at the burner. Because the knobs on the new oven are the exact opposite of the old oven, I had turned the back burner on high.

So, I turned off the burner, all while screaming a slew of curses, and reached over to grab the burner cover. And proceeded to royally burn the fuck out of my hand.

Then I had to go cover up the smoke detector with a towel because there was so much fucking smoke!!

Needless to say, if I had gone and gotten on the computer for a few minutes like I had thought of, I probably would have set the entire cover on fire. As it is now, that burner is completely black and smells like death, so we threw it away.

All in all, I epically failed today.



Anyway, got a new idea with a storyline. AND I THINK IT KICKS ASS.

In fact, since I also know what I'm writing my art piece on, I might be able to upload some stuff for it soon...

GOD I'M EXCITED.

AND THANKFULLY NOT HAVING THIRD DEGREE BURNS ON MY HANDS. ;w;


Oh, btw, the system of popularity on this site is completely retarded. Virtually all of the very "popular" artists don't even have half of a gallery devoted to their own work. IT'S ALL NARUTO OR BLEACH. Don't get me wrong, I love Bleach and I'm keeping up with Shippuuden, but it is so silly to idolize people who don't even do their own work a majority of the time and can't even draw that well. Meanwhile, there are so many talented artists who don't get recognized because they don't constantly draw SasuxSaku or NaruxHina or something along those lines.

And no, I'm not really talking about any one artist in general, and this is my personal opinion, so don't bitch at me if you don't agree.

I figure this is still going to piss someone off, though.

Doesn't matter, I'm probably about to get another account anyway, so it's not like a lynch mob could do much to me on here.

HO MAN, I NEED TO DRAW SHAMBALA FOR YOU GUYS.